Part two of our “How to convince your client that you know what you’re doing” series.
This is a guide to being respected, feeling valued, and creating personal brand ambassadors. In Part One, we went over how to identify the problem clients. In Part 2, we will discuss how to make and change first impressions. Here’s how to hack the primal brain using dogs, Ben Franklin, and elevators. Note: These tactics are very powerful. Only use them if it benefits both you and your client.
1. Why your dog seems to know what you’re thinking
We’ve all been in a situation where we know we’re being judged. Opinions are constantly being formed, and they are most commonly formed based on feeling. Consider how illogical that is.
In a split second, the brain makes a primal decision. Friend or Foe? This decision is made by a part of the brain that we do not fully control. We actively read body language. But we passively read faces. And we’re very good at it.
Have you ever wondered why your dog seems to know what you’re thinking? Dogs and humans look at human faces the same way. We look at each half of the face separately from left to right while searching for that person’s intent. Face’s are NOT symmetrical. Expressions work across our faces. So being able to read each side separately is powerful. Perfection is alien. That’s why when you symmetrically invert Sylvester Stallone’s face in a photo… [images style=”0″ image=”https%3A%2F%2Fwww.myrecordinginternship.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F04%2Fa75XWVA_700b.jpg” width=”700″ align=”center” top_margin=”0″ full_width=”Y”]
He looks like an alien!
We consciously look for symmetry and ignore imperfections in that symmetry. This leads us to believe things are symmetrical. It’s also the reason we recognize face shapes while looking at craters on the moon or mountain structures on Mars. The imperfections in symmetry is what shows that persons emotions.
I will explain how to train your face using elevators in a moment. But, lets go over a much simpler way to hack into the primal brain.
2. The Ben Franklin Effect
“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.” – Benjamin Franklin
A person feels obligated to do favors out of kindness. Completing a favor gives that person a sense of pride, accomplishment, and completion. The brain is pleased by these feelings and the brain attaches you (the person who asked for this favor) to these feelings.
As a music producer, I ask for something that will help me produce the record I’m working on. Simple requests do work, but leading requests work more consistently.
Simple request: “Could you bring that guitar you mentioned?”
Leading request: “That guitar is going to be a huge help to me. I need it for the record. You can bring it, right?”
Leading requests are more exciting. The favor sounds larger than it really is. This will correlate directly with the pleasure your client feels when she does you that favor.
3. Elevators – The rise of walking emoticons
Training your face to display the proper intention cannot be done alone. A mirror is of no use to you. You need someone who does not have a set opinion on you to read your face. So, you cannot practice with friends or family. That’s why you should use elevators.
In an elevator, you will meet people who have no intention of talking to you. Start by engaging people in the elevator in conversation. Use your face to say things silently. Show surprise, concern, joy, pain, and other emotions without saying a word. Keep mental notes on which faces worked to move the conversation in the direction you wanted it to go. After you begin to really understand how to use your face in conversation, start conversations using only your face.
I personally thought this was a fun exercise. After getting the hang of it, I would enter a crowded elevator and stand towards everyone. I would be the only person facing the back of the elevator. This afforded me a lot of eye contact with people who were unsure about my intentions. It’s amazing how different the reaction will be when you change your face emotions. I was able to make people laugh without speaking! They’d smile and even laugh if I was displaying the right amount of surprise and happiness in my expression. I would be asked if I were okay if I displayed sadness with my face.
If you happen to be a fan of the television show “The Office” than you’ve seen this in action. Those actors do single camera candid shots and talking head style shots that move the story along without any dialogue.
[images style=”0″ image=”https%3A%2F%2Fwww.myrecordinginternship.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F04%2Fmaxresdefault.jpg” width=”1280″ align=”center” top_margin=”0″ full_width=”Y”]
Look at the lips from left to right. They show a slight curve up at first and a straightening towards the right. This person has mixed emotions in his lips. It leads you to believe he is concerned about something. Of course, when you look at it as a whole you can tell by this expression that he is very troubled or concerned at the moment. But remember, that’s just your brain doing all the work for you.
So… dogs know your intentions, Ben Franklin is a brain hacker, and elevators are a great place to meet new people.
In the next article, we will speak about convincing a client you’re valuable while you work with them.
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